A Few Late Christmas Gifts
A Few Late Christmas Gifts
Now that you have sucked down the last wisp of Christmas lasagna and prime rib, washed it down with the some high-powered egg nog and politely ejected the last relative looking for a doggie bag to take home, I hope you don’t mind if I hand out some last minutes gifts.
Sorry about the delay but the roads were bad and Aunt Mame and Uncle Saul are just coming off of a Boone’s Farm binge. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
Anyway, let’s get on with it.
Tim Gaffney – A framed 1969 photo of his beloved New York Mets, a Zippo lighter for his Omar Minaya collection and a bag of State Line potato chips so he can see how the other half lives. But don’t tell Frito Lay, his employer.
Pat Tiscia – A Cliff Lee dartboard, a Reggie Jackson backpack and Brian Cashman’s autograph. Can’t be too kind to these Yankee fans.
Torrington Football Coach Dan Dunaj – A 40-yard kickoff, a new weight room and three Scott Langenheims
Brenden Lytton – A year’s supply of Ben Gay to ease those 35-40 carries a game nights and a personal massager to keep those legs in prime operating condition
Gregg Hunt - The return of Stephen Strasburg, the return of the Twisters and a championship for the Wamogo Warriors.
Dennis Fowler - The shortening of soccer games to 79 minutes and 57 seconds, two more years of Amanda Adamski and a future spot with Litchfieldcountrysports.com.
Thomaston A.D. Bill Ryan – A three-class teaching schedule, a $1 million donation to the school’s championship fund since coach Mark Olsen’s cross country team seem to win fairly frequently and a year’s supply of good take-out for his trio of greyhounds.
Fred Williams – A calculator to keep track of all those wins and a lifetime gift certificate to all those stores that sell the sweaters that Fred has made so famous. Also many more years of squatting in front of the bench. We’re all jealous
Mario Longobucco – A shorter name and more girls soccer seasons like his first one.
Newell Porch - A GPS so he can keep track of what school he is traveling to in the morning. Torrington, Nonnewaug and now Avon in the span of six months. Also, a new note pad to keep track of his school colors.
Mississippi Mudcat - A supply of Tex Ritter, Gene Autry and Oak Ridge Boys albums along with a few more watts so more people can here his melodious offerings on WAPJ.
Erika Fritch – A fine wedding, great honeymoon and many years of wedded bliss with Mr. Colin Pratt.
Scooter Zappone – A book deal so he can relate his various coaching experiences from Wilby to Pomperaug to Holy Cross to Post University, etc. And a protective body guard for his new pitcher, Victoria Cheske, the NVL’s best at Holy Cross.
Don Dennis – A caddy for one of Fairview Farms best golf guys just in case his back should act up again. I’m thinking that Rick O’Connell would be glad to do it.
Bob Ferrarotti – A lifetime tractor supply since that’s what he likes to ride his golf range with and a healthy supply of peas for refereeing whistle.
Jordan Williams – Apologies from all the experts out there who said Torrington High would be his basketball high point. I’m thinking Maryland and coach Gary Williams are wondering when the glaucoma will clear up.
Jackie Nicholas - A double whopper with cheese and big old chocolate milk shake just because it always makes me feel good to see runners of her caliber eat fat food once in a while. I’ll even throw in a piece of cheesecake for the two-time state open cross country champion.
Bill Neller - Every Jan. 2 off for the duration so he can recoup from the charitable Possum Queen festivities held on New Year’s Day. For that matter every Monday off after the second Sunday in June so he can fulfill his Litchfield Road Race duties. He is a busy man, you know.
Brent Hawkins - A $1,000 gift certificate to Joseph A. Banks. I’d like to see what Hawk looks like in a suit. Imagine him in a double-breasted pinstripe job announcing the LHRR.
Scott Salius – Another year of eligibility for quarterback Bobby Lippincott and a repeat of this football season
The bag is empty right now. But I hope everybody got everything they wanted. Happy Holidays.