I'll pass on these sports activities
You can do these things, I'm not
They ran the Boston Marathon recently and followed that up with the London Marathon. The New York City Marathon is coming up. That’s 26 miles, 385 yards or 138,435 feet or 46,145 yards if you prefer. God bless all of those runners and their built up bunions, sore muscles and cellulite-depleted bodies.
Obviously a marathon is not on my bucket list. I mean, why run further than your car wants to go. Why take several hours out of your life, in my case about a day and a half, when you could be eating cheese-its, inhaling a piece of cheese cake or burying that spoon into a load of mashed potatoes and gravy.
Why absorb the pain and punishment when you could be watching the WWE or NCIS, figuring out how to pay the winter’s oil bill or telling one more student to put their phone away. Why look you need an injection need a donation from the food pantry? Why put yourself in the position of having to run around the shower to get wet?
Look at what all that running has done to all those good folks who run the Litchfield Hills Road Race (all friends by the way, so relax). Yep, just not on my list of things to do although I have nothing but admiration for those who make the sacrifice like Thomaston’s Bill Bradshaw or `Runnin’ Mo McMahon.
The whole marathon thing got me to thinking the other day (I do that once in a while) about what I don’t want to do in sports. It is part of this sporting life for sure and for ever. But there are certain things in sports I have never really wanted to do.
Drive a team bus. Are you kidding me? First of all I wouldn’t be able to park the thing. Secondly I don’t want to know what is going on in the back of the bus. This just never appealed to me.
Drive a snowmobile in the X Games. This has to be one of dumbest sports or activities ever created as evidenced by the death of a participant recently. Snowmobiles were meant to kept on the ground on snow. Not flying like juiced up airplanes doing flips. Not attraction here.
Clean up a football locker room. Let’s just say that there is no locker room like a football locker room. Half of the Yankee Candle kingdom lit up doesn’t make it any better if you smell what I’m cookin’ here.
Interview a coach or manager in between innings or at the end of a quarter. – Hey, the media has no right bothering these guys in the middle of a game. Enough said. Plus, are really getting must-have information? Can you imagine trying to interview former Torrington High and Naugatuck football coaches, Bruce Kasenetz and Craig Peters during a game. You might have lost your teeth.
Wrestle the Undertaker. – `The Deadman’ is undefeated at Wrestlemania. I figure I might be the underdog. I will rest in peace when the other big guy calls.
Mucking stalls - I’ve been taking for a ride many times but I have never ridden a horse although it is on my bucket list. I certainly don’t want to muck the stalls. I would renege on all of this it was Secretariat, but that day has come and gone. I’ll stick with shoveling snow.
Be the Torrington High A.D. - I’m sure Mike McKenna never planned for all of this when he accepted the job last summer. The area press has at times has unfairly and irresponsibly implicated the Torrington High football program for the sexual assault problems that have garnered nation-wide attention in recent months. This has been a school and community problem not necessarily one born out of the football program.
Two of the students charged were seniors and had completed their football careers at THS almost four months before the incidents occurred. Doesn’t seem to matter to those with the pens. Either way, McKenna has had his hands full and the issue is not going away.
Being Bill Buckner – Some have never forgiven him and the ball rolling through his aged legs and the Red Sox eventually losing the 1986 World Series to the Mets after being one pitch away from the title after a billion years is still a much to clear image. But, I cringe for people that had good career and are remembered for one play. Kudos to Billy Buck and Ralph Branca who gave up Bobby Thompson’s home run in 1951 for handling the adversity with class.
Be the official beer counter at the Litchfield Hills Road Race – I heard they just got the final count from the 1996 race. Look there’s no secret, liquid entertainment ranks right up there with the legendary race course rockers, “Hot Ethel.” In fact I think they just hired a staff of 200 to try and speed up the counting.
Being Tim Gaffney (right now) – Hear me out on this one. Gaffney just finished by all accounts a great week in San Diego with family. Now it is over and work looms. The end of vacation is a cruel time. We’ve all been there.
There are other things I want no part of in the world of sports. I don’t want to be a cliff diver in Aculpulco. I want no part of the Running of the Bulls in Spain. I don’t want to be Jimmy Connors if Chris Evert gets a hold of him these days. We could go on.
Sports are great. They are not perfect.